until first light

menthol

She pushed the menthol deep down into her lungs, pulling its heave into her very centre.  "It's like brushing your teeth," she said.

"Yeah?" he replied, with that laconic uprising at the end, the one that she had grown to recognise as his filtering of every aspect of her into him.  Details saved for a later date.

"Yeah. Like when you're on school camp and you brush your teeth with just a little bit of paste on the end of your finger."

Their hands were rough from the afternoon's activity.  The ice of an early July's night had yet to settle in, but everything heralded its presence.  The clear sky, dotted with seldom precious stars, and the carefully formed clouds that gently escaped from their mouths but were too young to play with.  Perched on the smooth concrete step which had weathered with time, suburbia stood removed from the quiet square in which they sat.  The flecks of its composition glittered in the soft light.  Their palms kept warm in each other.

Smoke littered the atmosphere.  She thought these clouds somehow cleaner, more pure than the usual, the ones she had grown accustomed to and the ones that smelt like him even when he wasn't around.  It was mint but it was not pristine; the English language toying with itself.  Their dirty undertone swirled in the air and got trapped within her veins.  She ignored the tingling.  They gazed into the darkness, the tangibility of existence only as far as their eyes could reach.

He noticed the light glazed the virescence in her eyes.  He hadn't moved but it was like it was stuck there, feared to be caught behind her pupils forever.  Her mind in tandem darted for freedom and for safety, their race pulsating through her.  She took one last drag.

"Imagine if all of this got stuck in you and you had to float away with it," he said.

She slept so well that night.  Details saved for a later date.

Cinematic Style: Felicity Jones in Like Crazy

In my sartorial adventures I'd like to say there's times I oscillate between wanting to dress like I'm a fully grown, exciting person who knows exactly what they like and what their 'style' is, and wanting to mess up my attempt at order intentionally just so I can feel as mismatched on the exterior as my mind is usually.  Mostly it's the latter just because my attraction to neutral basics means everything always matches even if I don't intend it.  I'm not really sure where I sit with the term 'style', and whether it's ingrained or if it grows as you grow or changes with you, but I definitely do think that it's something you possess whether it's consciously considered or not.  Now this isn't a revolutionary idea, but reflexively speaking I don't think anyone really ever closely examines why they've decided to change old sartorial habits or embrace new ones, aside from what society dictates.  We wear corporate attire to professional jobs, we wear something more comfortable on the weekend.  Most people don't consider what they used to wear five years ago on the weekend to what they do now, or even remember at all.  Is this a reflection of society mindlessly embracing trends, or do we just not stop to see how we've changed sartorially because it's perhaps vain?

Felicity Jones in Like Crazy is a perfect example of the sartorial changes adolescence and young adulthood present.  A story which explores the strains of a long-distance relationship over a period of seven or so years, Jones plays Anna, a British exchange student in Los Angeles who falls in love with local Jacob (played by Anton Yelchin).  Forced to return to London after overstaying her visa and attempting to return to the US, the film explores the depths of fledgling intimacy with emotional warmth, but also hope and despair as the two swim and sink in love.

What attracted me so much to Jones' style was her effervescence and poise on screen.  Her growth from a teenager to a twenty-something spans the passage of time and starts with untamed hair, mismatched jewellery, colour and loosely fitting shirts, and ends with classic silhouettes that are fitted, considered and neutral. Although older than her character in real life, the freshness of Jones remains like magic throughout the movie...I mean if I had her complexion at her age, let alone now, I'd probably be making sure my face was on the big screen too.

Saying that, while the passage of time in Like Crazy and the change of clothing indicates a transformation of physical maturity, if we pull this idea back into real life I don't think this is always the case intellectually.  Even in the film the intelligence of Anna shines through even when she's still a senior in college and an aspiring writer.  The change in sartorial aesthetics might be a reflection of the growth of the character, or a technique used to harbour the transition of time, but I really appreciate the film's decision to not change Anna's nature entirely to justify this.  It's effortless - perhaps contrary to the relationship - and allows for this really nice simplism of character whose depth isn't undermined at all.  Like Crazy was shot on a tiny budget, with Jones doing her own hair and make-up, and the dialogue entirely improvised.  This naturalism in film making - you judge whether it's extreme or not - isn't seen often and for that I really enjoyed watching Jones' character blossom.  Her wardrobe is uncomplicated, intelligent and gracious in thought.

Just How Much Can You Get For Free?

Free stuff in Melbourne is a tough market to crack.  From past experience I’ve found the ‘Oh, I only have $2.80 for this [insert food item here] instead of $3…is that okay?’ excuse is definitely not okay.  Gallant attempt, but not okay.  Pockets are getting tighter, and I know you’re likely to think that that means the simple economics of society are about to fall apart to stop your wallet gathering cobwebs.  Not the case.  You’re still going to have to eat, have fun, and look good with nothing.  Here’s how.

Universities, when not being used for higher education, are centres for the free food cause.  Little security means that no matter who you are you’re welcome on campus.  Your golden ticket: the free barbecue.  If you can handle having a vague conversation with the club running the gathering, the world is yours – with free beer included.  But if you’re looking for something a little more up-market, and are sick of hanging around Bakers Delight for samples and buying heavily discounted almost-expired juice from the supermarket, you’ve got a few more options.  Lentil As Anything (Abbotsford Convent, St Kilda, Footscray) is well known for its pay-what-you-like philosophy - meaning you are allowed to pay nothing and get away with it.  Alternatively, pop on your fingerless gloves and put your high-school drama skills to good use at the Subway at the Carlton-end of Swanston Street: they offer free meals to the homeless every week.  Or visit Sacred Heart Mission (St Kilda) who serve breakfast and lunch free everyday.  When your tummy is screaming, your only limits are your morals.

If you’ve already tried to steal your friends’ clothes (read: ‘borrowed’) and failed, go for the obvious choice: markets and op shops. You aren’t going to be getting any haute couture for free unless you have some serious connections, so hit these two with a twist. Visit markets right before closing: you might’ve missed the ‘good stuff’, but stallholders sometimes won’t be back for a few months or ever again, and they’re keen to get rid of their stuff.  Go to Camberwell Market on a Sunday just before 1pm and you might just snag yourself something for nothing.  As for op shops: charities spend thousands of dollars every year cleaning up items that are illegally dumped outside their stores.  It might take you a while to find a gem that isn’t weatherworn and you may look like a degenerate, but you’re kind of doing them a favour.  Try the Vinnies on Johnston Street, Fitzroy – guaranteed items there every morning.   

If there’s one thing free that Melbourne does well, it’s entertainment.  You might’ve spent endless nights ripping videos off YouTube and turning them into mp3’s, but that can only provide you so much of an experience.  By the time you’ve explored all that happy hour has to offer at your local pub, the live music might as well appear to be free.  If that’s too safe, try venues where there’s multiple public areas: they’re effortless to sneak into; ghosting of strangers optional.  Free events also form part of the various festivals Melbourne seems to be hosting almost every week so there’s no reason why you should be at home.  If you’re a bit wordier, visit The Moat (at The Wheeler Centre) and participate in their book swap: just bring your own book and exchange it for one on their shelf.  Civilised and easy. 

Finally, no matter the situation: flash a hungry smile.  You’d be surprised how much you can get for free with it.  Now get creative, get sleuth, get busy.   

Written for Karamel Magazine, April 2012.